Warning in advance - this is a long one. Yeah. So it's been nearly 3 years since I've uploaded anything besides comments. I've gone through a lot since my last upload. Family turning on me because of my unpopular views and opinions about the world to the point they want to kick me out, splitting up with my gf of several years in January, my job having an increasingly detrimental effect on my mental health and my social life, what little I have, as well as having frequent dark thoughts of "checking out early" entering my mind. It got so bad, I had to attend counselling in order to help me cope. More recently, those thoughts are creeping back into my mind as my life is so utterly boring, wasted and unfulfilled. Yet I can't find any motivation. I want to make myself better, but I don't know where to start. I know I'm starting to ramble a bit and you're getting bored. But I just wanted to let the handful of you out there who may still care know I'm still around and why I've been so quiet. Thanks for reading and take care. - HR